I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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