the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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