He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
