Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I checked into jail on foursquare
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
