Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
