i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
