unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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