Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
