your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
