HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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