At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
