My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
