this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
