I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
