She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
