I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
