you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
