She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
