The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
