Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
