GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
