This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
