I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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