I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
