do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize