ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
