Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
