It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
