Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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