your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
