No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
