she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
