I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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