So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
