My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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