I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
