you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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