Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
