yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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