I'm going to jail i love you
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
