i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
