Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize