Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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