Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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