why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
