i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
