somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
