Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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