I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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