My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
