"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
