there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
