I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
