Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this just has baby written all over it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
