We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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