i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
