Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize