So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
