theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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