My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize