can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
