at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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