Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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