i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was like eating out sand paper
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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